Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

I received this letter from Shane yesterday. He wrote it on April 2.



I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the outstanding postal service our Army has set up over at Shane's FOB. This took nearly four months to get to me. (Compare this with letters taking 7-10 days when he was based at KAF the first few weeks of his deployment)

I can't really bitch though; it was a lovely surprise. And, despite it being a third of a year late, his words hold just as much meaning now as they would have then, so the extra time didn't matter.

Yes, it was a true love letter, if you will. And yes, I know I picked a winner.

Regardless of talking to Shane a few times a week via phone, skype or gchat, there's something about an old-fashioned letter that makes me melt. So...boom, highlight of my week so far.

T-minus 6 weeks

I'll start this one with Friday night's email to Shane...

7.23.2010

Hey baby,

Remember that time last October when I made you drive somewhere random with me one night and we ended up in the Academy parking lot and I proceeded to freak out and cry over you leaving in a couple of months? You held me and told me that I had to calm down, I had to hold myself together, so that I wouldn't ruin the time we had left together.

At the time, the thought of going 12 months without you felt physically and emotionally impossible. Having just gotten through with NTC, when that one month seemed to drag, I was sure that night in your arms in my car in the Academy parking lot that you deploying meant me losing my mind.

Look at us now, hah. More than halfway through deployment, seeing each other in 6 weeks :-) and we are stronger than ever. I am oh so proud of us!

I thought of that random night just a few minutes ago, on my drive home from Sara's. How far we have come!

So, I have a tattoo appointment with Ms. Cara Massacre at True Blue tomorrow. My appointment is at 1:30, I am leaving Killeen at noon. You said you thought you'd be back from mission early, so I hope you get to call me before I leave for Austin. I could really use a good talk with you my husband.

I love you, call me as early as you'd like!

Love,

Melly


Well, here is the result of Saturday:



I am really happy with deciding to transform this into color. I plan on continuing down my arm into a little 1/4 sleeve action, hopefully sooner than later. (Ideally before I see Shane in 6 weeks, but we'll see) I've concluded tattoos are an excellent distraction from deployment. Plus Shane loves them, so it's a win-win. (Mom and Dad, I'm sorry in advance for looking like a "hoodlum")

On a depressing note, Afghanistan has been extra busy in terms of casualties and injuries this weekend. I proceeded to have a mini freakout Saturday night when I went through my routine of obsessing over the news and finding every story possible on what the latest is. I spoke with Shane this morning, and he calmed me down as usual, so all good now.

Six weeks from this moment and I'll be somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean on my way to Paris. Dear time, please hurry up.

Night Running Deserves a Quiet Night

(Note: An alternate title for this post was “Born to Run,” but I couldn’t succumb to having 2 of my first 3 posts be named after songs by Jersey rockers, despite my love for Bruce. That would be a serious nerd alert.)

My love for running has now spanned an entire decade. I have put in some especially good mileage this year, considering it helps lessen the stress of deployment. I’ve always run for the same reasons since I was 13 I’ve realized- to work out what’s on my mind or take my mind off what’s bugging me, depending on the day. Tonight’s motivation was simply because I wanted to run. I focused on nothing other than the music my earbuds blasted into my head, which is rare. Tonight’s choice? The new White Crosses album by Against Me, followed by some Kid Sister.

It’s been a few weeks since I opted for running outside instead of on a treadmill, since the Texas heat makes it nearly impossible to run outside for more than a mile without wanting to pass the hell out. Not to mention, running in the dark in Killeen is asking for something awful to happen. So, my lazy ass woke up from a much needed nap (talked to Shane until 2am last night) at around 8:30, and then I drove onto Fort Hood, where I feel completely safe on a lit path that other people are always on. At 9 pm, a chilly 87 degrees is perfect for a night run.

I’m proud to say I’ve been running for 10 years. I may not be up for running a marathon anytime soon, because I still can’t imagine how I wouldn’t die somewhere between mile 6 and 26, but I’m happy with where I’m at. I do have a big bad 5K coming up on August 14th though.

Hooray for the weekend almost being here. I am seriously considering getting some new ink on Saturday. Well, more like adding on to an existing tattoo, but we’ll see if I follow through. I want to transform my black and white flower piece on my right shoulder into a color one, and I want to add another flower onto it to continue onto my back because I love flowers.

After all, I am a Gardiner.

50% Done...(Officially)

Dear Shane,

Are we there yet?

No, but we’re halfway there. (exactly, since I believe it was Jan. 19 that I thought my world was ending) And in just seven weeks from today, I will be seeing you in Paris! (assuming the Army gets you there on time…fingers crossed)

I seriously want to start packing, but I guess that would be slightly ridiculous. Oh well, few more weeks to go, but I will continue talking about it everyday probably. (Check that- definitely)

So, I am going to see Streetlight Manifesto tonight at Emo’s. Or Against Me! if a miracle happens and it’s not actually sold out. I’m not getting my hopes up though. Whatever. It will be a good time and I will tell you goofy stories about Streetlight’s “circus music” anyway, hah.

So, it wasn’t a case of the Mondays afterall today. I’m glad we’re off to a better start than last week which brought on a case of the Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Hopefully this week goes by fast, because once we’re at the six week mark next weekend, I can officially say “see you soon.” Dahhhhhhh!

Okay off to Austin for a rugby meeting and then on to whatever show I end up at. I’ll eat some legit pizza and have a pbr or two for you. I love you!


Love,

Melly

Woahhh, We're Halfway There!

It’s been 180 days since I’ve seen my husband.

When Shane left in January for a 12 month deployment to Afghanistan, I had planned to start a blog to track my year of dealing with it. But for one reason or another, my plan failed to launch- until now.

Something about reaching the halfway point (woohoo!) ignited the spark to finally put my feelings out there in cyberspace, for whoever is interested to follow along.

To say these past six months have been hellacious is putting it lightly. Awful, heartbreaking, terrifying, and miserable do little justice. I’ve always had an easy time with words, but deployment sucked my ability to write about it right out of me.

Keeping myself busy has been the solution to not completely losing my mind. With working full-time, joining the Austin Valkyries Rugby Team, writing for Define The Meaning and The Austin Deli, and spending time with friends, my idea for a blog got lost somewhere in between my need to stay busy, and my lack of a thorough plan of exactly what to say and how to say it.

I did not scrap writing altogether these past six months however. I have been writing every day in fact, in the form of sending Shane a letter every night before going to sleep- yes, every single night, and every so often during the day. So the format of some of my posts will follow suit at times. Feel free to check my progress over the next half a year. I plan to post about the ups and downs, the happy moments as well as the ones that make me want to die a little. Just another half a year of this to go…

Deep breath.