Hate Mail

(Update: Shane’s unit moved bases while we were in Paris and the Army thought it would be a fun idea to start sending them on significantly longer missions. This means very limited contact and a very pissed off Melanie right now)


Dear Deployment,

I hate you.

Since R&R ended, you have reached a whole new level of suck. I have hardly heard from Shane since he got back to Afghanistan, and it is making life a little hard to handle these days.

For the eight months leading up to seeing Shane, I had my occasional funks. Who doesn’t? There have been many downs and lows where at times I thought I’d never get up, but I knew I had to keep going. I would hear from Shane every other day on average, and there would be some weeks that it would be almost every day. The funks never lasted very long, but I think this current one is looking to set a record.

Deployment, it has been a long time since you were this difficult. Since you felt this awful. Since you invaded my dreams and made it impossible to sleep. Since bourbon and coke seemed like the only answer some nights. I counted today and there are about 15 weeks left of you, which doesn’t seem all that bad. But when you take away Shane’s ability to contact me for many days at a time, it feels never-ending.

I can’t seem to cry anymore, I can only eat so much junk food, and there is only so much comfort in music and writing. I am losing my mind a little right now and I don’t know how to stop it from happening.

All I ask is that if you are going to suck this much and make it this shitty for me, that you balance it out by making it easy on Shane and making his job be as simple as possible. Because at the end of the day, if he is okay, so am I.

Thanks. I still hate you.

Love,

Melanie