Army Wives

A few months back, I was at a rugby social when a fellow teammate introduced me to her boyfriend as “Melanie, the Army wife.” As I reached out my hand for the shake, I forced my mouth to move into a smile as I said something along the lines of “Nice to meet you.”

Until that day, I always thought of myself as a woman who was married to a man in the Army, but that those things were separate. I tried not to succumb to the “Army wife” label and all that it entailed. It’s not that I’m not proud to have a husband in the Army; everyone and their mother who knows me knows I damn well am. It’s more the fact that I have a whole life outside of my husband being in the Army. Hell, I don’t even use the Army’s insurance since I have my own through work. It’s just a silly label, I know, but the connotation bothered me for awhile.

As time has gone on, I care less and less, so I guess I can say I am an Army wife. A really good one at that.

With deployment almost over, I can stand up and say I have given my all as Shane’s wife this year, and I have zero regrets. I sent Shane somewhere between 40-50 care packages this year (I lost count after sending one a week for the first few months), while holding things down on the homefront such as paying bills, taking care of the car, and keeping my eye on the big picture. Sending care packages like it’s my job doesn’t alone make me a good wife, I realize, my point is just that I put everything into those packs. I’d search far and wide for the perfect things to send him, because I knew it’d make him happy. When your husband is 8,000 miles away for a year and putting together weekly boxes is your only way to feel close to him, you’d do it too.

I built a life for myself here after Shane deployed. I joined a rugby team, I made friends here in Killeen, and I kept busy with reading, writing, and working out. I am proud of everything I have accomplished.

I’m not one for being modest, so flat out, I’ve been a role model wife this deployment. Shane’s got it made and he knows it.

Other soldiers have not been so lucky. Fighting and cheating have all hit hard, and I can’t say I’m entirely too surprised by the latest rumor of 10 (or so) couples from Shane’s unit getting divorced. The fighting I get, though Shane and I were smooth sailing for this entire ride. It is hard to keep a relationship happy and chipper when you’ve got oceans between you. The cheating thing, I have no tolerance. To the soldiers who over there who couldn’t keep it in there pants, and to the wives here who got a little too lonely one (in some cases more than one) night, I think you suck. Period.

A lot of the Army wife stereotypes do ring true, in my opinion. Fort Hood is the largest military installation in the country, so I’ve seen my fair share of “Army wives.” As much as I love to shit talk, I will try and keep this part brief. For every strong ass kicking Army wife, I’m convinced there’s one who has left her ring on her nightstand before a night on the town with friends. Then there’s the undeniably high number of pregnant chicks who are still just teenagers. But hey, they are Army wives too. Then there’s the slew of Army wives who also have a boyfriend.

However, I have met many Army wives in this town who are amazing women. Women who have stood by their husband for eight or more deployments. Women who manage to hold a job and raise the kids while dealing with the daily fears deployment brings.

Now that I’ve gone through a deployment, I can attest to the fact that being an Army wife, especially when your husband is in a war-zone, is difficult. But I did it. I do not feel entitled to anything for my role as a soldier’s wife. I’m sick of the “you’re so strong, how do you do it” crap I still get. I do it because I choose to do it. Shane signed up to be in the Army, and I signed up to be his wife. The end.