Sigh...

I can’t remember the last time I had a weekend to myself to truly chill out and do nothing.

Sounds nice, right? Wrong.

I thrive and kick deployment in the face when I am keeping busy, and for the past however many months, I’ve been all over the place, with a set plan for every weekend. I am usually a champ at distracting myself enough to make the days go by faster. But this weekend, I am at a loss.

I am losing my mind and it’s only Saturday. I just got back from a night out in Austin with friends, and now I am alone and bored and sad. Thing is, I don’t actually want to do anything. Lying in bed, listening to music, and ignoring everyone’s phone calls until I get one from Shane is my plan for the time being. No offense to everyone, I’m just waiting to hear from Shane and can’t focus on any other conversation until the one I need to have happens.

It just hurts pretty badly right now. I miss Shane more than I can even make words convey, so I won’t bother trying.

The worst part is, there is nothing I can do when it feels like this, other then look at the clock every so often to remind myself that time continues to push on, no matter what. That’s really all I can find comfort in right now.

Are we there yet?