There has been one song I've been listening to a whole lot lately and wanted to share it on here. I downloaded the new Brandon Flowers solo album our last night in Paris, and absolutely fell in love with it. It's also the last song Shane and I listened to together at the airport.
I posted a live version, because that's more exciting. Check out the lyrics below. Sweet, I know.
"Hard Enough" by Brandon Flowers
You let me into your life on a whim
And there was magic and fire in the night
In loving I was just a little boy
I made mistakes that caused you so much pain
All I know is that I’m older now
Some people think that it’s best to refrain from the conventions of old-fashioned love
Their hearts are filled with holes and emptiness
They tell themselves that they’re too young to settle down
Girl I promise you I’m older now
And this has been hard enough on you
I know it’s been hard enough on me
Been telling myself that I can roll with the changes
And when the water gets high above your head
Darling don’t you see,
While this has been hard enough on you
It’s been hard enough on me
I wasn’t looking when we built these walls
Let me spread my dreams at your feet
Let’s not let time’s bitter flood rise
Before my thoughts begin to run
I think I’m getting older now
And this has been hard enough on you
I know it’s been hard enough on me
Been telling myself that I can roll with the changes
And when the water gets high above your head
Darling don’t you see,
While this has been hard enough on you
It’s been hard enough on me
Can’t stand the thought of another,talking to you sweet my dear
Where would I be tonight if you hadn’t held me here, in your arms?
And this has been hard enough on you
I know it’s been hard enough on me
Been telling myself that I can roll with the changes
And when the water gets high above your head
Darling don’t you see,
While this has been hard enough on you
It’s been hard enough on me
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Hate Mail
(Update: Shane’s unit moved bases while we were in Paris and the Army thought it would be a fun idea to start sending them on significantly longer missions. This means very limited contact and a very pissed off Melanie right now)
Dear Deployment,
I hate you.
Since R&R ended, you have reached a whole new level of suck. I have hardly heard from Shane since he got back to Afghanistan, and it is making life a little hard to handle these days.
For the eight months leading up to seeing Shane, I had my occasional funks. Who doesn’t? There have been many downs and lows where at times I thought I’d never get up, but I knew I had to keep going. I would hear from Shane every other day on average, and there would be some weeks that it would be almost every day. The funks never lasted very long, but I think this current one is looking to set a record.
Deployment, it has been a long time since you were this difficult. Since you felt this awful. Since you invaded my dreams and made it impossible to sleep. Since bourbon and coke seemed like the only answer some nights. I counted today and there are about 15 weeks left of you, which doesn’t seem all that bad. But when you take away Shane’s ability to contact me for many days at a time, it feels never-ending.
I can’t seem to cry anymore, I can only eat so much junk food, and there is only so much comfort in music and writing. I am losing my mind a little right now and I don’t know how to stop it from happening.
All I ask is that if you are going to suck this much and make it this shitty for me, that you balance it out by making it easy on Shane and making his job be as simple as possible. Because at the end of the day, if he is okay, so am I.
Thanks. I still hate you.
Love,
Melanie
Dear Deployment,
I hate you.
Since R&R ended, you have reached a whole new level of suck. I have hardly heard from Shane since he got back to Afghanistan, and it is making life a little hard to handle these days.
For the eight months leading up to seeing Shane, I had my occasional funks. Who doesn’t? There have been many downs and lows where at times I thought I’d never get up, but I knew I had to keep going. I would hear from Shane every other day on average, and there would be some weeks that it would be almost every day. The funks never lasted very long, but I think this current one is looking to set a record.
Deployment, it has been a long time since you were this difficult. Since you felt this awful. Since you invaded my dreams and made it impossible to sleep. Since bourbon and coke seemed like the only answer some nights. I counted today and there are about 15 weeks left of you, which doesn’t seem all that bad. But when you take away Shane’s ability to contact me for many days at a time, it feels never-ending.
I can’t seem to cry anymore, I can only eat so much junk food, and there is only so much comfort in music and writing. I am losing my mind a little right now and I don’t know how to stop it from happening.
All I ask is that if you are going to suck this much and make it this shitty for me, that you balance it out by making it easy on Shane and making his job be as simple as possible. Because at the end of the day, if he is okay, so am I.
Thanks. I still hate you.
Love,
Melanie
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
The France Recap
For two weeks of 2010, I was genuinely happy and carefree. Being in France with Shane from Sept. 6th through the 20th was incredible in every way possible, from being able to hug and kiss at any time to getting lost on the streets of Paris to gorging on gouda. Lots of gouda.
Ah, where to begin. The first time we saw each other again, naturally.
Contrary to friends and family thinking he and I would both cry (more bets placed on me of course) at the sight of each other, such was not the case. As I walked into the arrival area, Shane was standing in the front of the crowd and all I could remember thinking was “Wow, this is it! That’s him!” The only way to really describe it is that it felt like I was seeing a celebrity. It felt unreal at first. Then it felt completely normal. We hugged, we kissed, we exchanged our money, we hopped into a cab. Ironically, “Born In the USA” was playing on the French radio.
We got to the place we were staying for the first eight nights, the New Orient Hotel. It was absolutely adorable, complete with a bottle of champagne waiting for us courtesy of Shane’s aunt. Needless to say, we didn’t leave the hotel until it was time for dinner. ;-)
That first night, we wandered the streets surrounding our hotel and ended up at a little Italian place where we each got pizza. Pizza! I can’t get a decent slice in Texas, but I can get an amazing personal size pizza thousands of miles away. Go figure.
The second day was Eiffel Tower Day. Also the day we snapped my favorite picture of the entire trip. (Ahem, see picture from last post or my current profile picture on facebook). We didn’t plan on seeing the Eiffel Tower that day, we just kind of started walking and eventually saw its peak and continued to follow it until we were at the base. Pretty fantastic.
Over the next few days, we hit up the tourist sights by day, and experienced Paris bars and clubs by night. In random order (because the details of France are blending into one giant cluster of AWESOME) we made it to the Catacombs, the Louvre, Notre Dame, the Arc de Triumph, the Invalidades, Sacre-Coeur Conciergerie, Pigalle (Paris’s red light district) Jardin de Luxembourg, and so much more.
At the Louvre
We usually made it out to start our day by 11am or noon, grabbed some poulet (chicken!) baguette sandwiches, and went exploring. We’d come back around 5-6pm and drink wine and eat cheese before finding a place to eat dinner.
At night, we went to a whole assortment of places. Among the notable were Harry’s New York Bar, a neat cocktail bar that sported banners of American schools on its walls. Unfortunately, I did not see a Rutgers one though. Anyway, at that place, we each had an absinthe cocktail and some other things I can’t recall. I don’t fully remember how that night ended. Must have been a good one.
One night we took a boat ride down the Seine River which provided an immaculate view of all of the city’s sights, most of which are illuminated at night. The Eiffel Tower sparkles on the hour every hour at night. It was absolutely beautiful. See what I mean?
Oh la la!
On the boat
Our night in Pigalle was amusing. Another not so clear evening, but nonetheless a fun one. Our night ended at some club where I remember hearing “Be My Lover” by the Spice Girls. Shane loved it and couldn’t stop singing to me.
Just kidding.
It was me singing.
That first week in Paris, I probably gained five pounds, not that I care. Between pizza, crepes, cheese, bread, poulet sandwiches, Indian, sushi, wine, crepes, quiche, chocolate, pastries, timtams, and whatever other random crap we decided we needed to consume, it was entirely worth every excessive calorie.
After eight nights in Paris, we hopped onto a train on the 14th and made our way to the French Riviera. The 5.5 hour ride was beautiful, going through the countryside, French alps, and eventually to the Riviera. We spent the time sharing the headphones to my mp3 player, talking, and napping.
Nice was nice, as I knew it would be. The second place we stayed, Hotel Gounod, was just four short blocks from the Mediterranean. We had just one good beach day, but that was good enough for us Jersey bred kids who hadn’t seen the ocean in more than a year. The beach in Nice (capital of the French Riviera) is made up of rocks rather than sand, which made for a fun walking experience into the water (not really). The people there were quite the sight. Men in speedos and women having the option to go topless made for the best people watching all trip. And hey, I can’t say I didn’t try out the French way of laying on the beach ;-) (Sorry Mom and Dad, I’ve got no shame!)
In Nice
We discovered a cool little hookah bar in Nice which had amazing mojitos. Mixed with mint hookah, it was a tasty time. On our third day in the Riviera, we took a train to Monaco, which was only a 20 minute ride away. It was absolutely picturesque, from the teal water to the floral landscaping virtually everywhere. Ferrari, Merecedes and Bentley logos lined the streets, while Shane and I appeared to be some of the youngest visitors to the place. The rich vibe had me worried that grabbing food would cost a fortune, but we found a little café by the harbor that we stayed at for the afternoon. A few mojitos later, we were a little tipsy and on our way back to Nice for another couple of nights. Ah, drinking mojitos in Monaco. Where’s the rewind button in life?
In Monaco, with the Monte Carlo Casino in the background
A night out in Nice
On Saturday the 18th, we were on a train again back to Paris. Shane fell asleep on my shoulder for about 20 minutes, but it was long enough for me to start thinking about how I’d have to say goodbye soon. I cried a little, but I blame it on Regina Spektor getting the best of me.
Our third hotel was by far my favorite. Located smack in the center of Paris a block from the Seine, Hotel Brittanique was adorably romantic. It was the perfect place to spend our last couple night together until Shane’s return. That night was our first actual serious miscommunication with the language barrier thing. Until our second to last night, the fact that neither of us spoke a lick of French didn’t seem to be a problem. Everyone we encountered spoke at least some English, save our waiter on this particular night at a French cafe. He knew enough English to say “No English” when we tried talking, so we went with pointing to things on the menu. Shane pointed at what he thought was some egg appetizer, but when a platter of assorted meats came out, it was clear this guy didn’t get it right. I think that night we experienced duck and liver. We’re still not sure, and I don’t think we ever want to know.
Our last day together, we just walked around a lot, buying an assortment of things and enjoying one another's company. I hardly slept that night, and immediately felt sick upon waking on the 20th. I held myself together until after we ate our final poulet sandwiches together at the airport. We started saying our goodbyes and giving each other pep talks and then I lost it. How could I get on a plane headed to Killeen having just spent two amazing weeks with Shane in France? It was hard. Not as hard as the first time back in January, but hard. Our final goodbye took place at the start of the security line. Shane stayed for most of the time I was stuck in the hour long line, standing about 20 meters or so behind me. We kept staring at each other, signing “I love you” as I continued to cry. And no, for anyone wondering, Shane did not cry. I have never seen him cry in fact. I’m hoping he does when he comes home for real though :-)
When Shane waved his final goodbye to me, I cried harder. I was slightly embarrassed that I was surrounded by people but my ultimate thought on the matter was “fuck these people.” I got onto the plane and fell asleep soon after takeoff. I awoke to my own snoring- you know, the kind where you let out a big, obnoxious “SNORT!” – throwing myself into consciousness again. I started laughing and turned to my side, looking for a Shane who would surely be on the verge of shitting himself with laughter. But no. I snap back to reality, and remember I am on a plane, moving further away from Shane by the second. (I neglected to mention that yes, I left Paris before Shane. He left a couple of days after. He spent the rest of his time shaving his crazy beard that formed in 2 weeks and catching up on sleep) Anyways, when the blunt reality hit me, my eyes began to well with tears just as the drink guy is standing to my side asking what I wanted. I somehow manage to hold back the growing lump in my throat and muster enough strength to say "diet coke, please.” I wanted off that plane so bad. I wanted it to turn around and fly me straight back into Shane’s arms. I was hurting bad. And I was only an hour into my flight at that point.
I survived the next nine hours, and eventually ended up back in Killeen that night, with Shane still in Paris. I was a mess, but a strong mess. It was comforting to know that it was the last time I'd have to say goodbye.
Soon after my return from my alternate reality which now already feels like a dream, I held onto the fact that there is only one more third of deployment to go. The final third. I think it’s something like 114 days until it was a year he left. That’s not awful, considering I started my countdown to France around this number of days.
So yes, France was amazing. My words and even my pictures don’t do it justice, but the memories will keep both me and him going. It was clear our love for each other has only grown and will continue to do so. France was totally worth the wait, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that I will be saying the same thing 3.5 months from now when he returns home for good. Until then, I've got pictures such as this one to stare at!
Oy. Are we there yet? Almost!
Ah, where to begin. The first time we saw each other again, naturally.
Contrary to friends and family thinking he and I would both cry (more bets placed on me of course) at the sight of each other, such was not the case. As I walked into the arrival area, Shane was standing in the front of the crowd and all I could remember thinking was “Wow, this is it! That’s him!” The only way to really describe it is that it felt like I was seeing a celebrity. It felt unreal at first. Then it felt completely normal. We hugged, we kissed, we exchanged our money, we hopped into a cab. Ironically, “Born In the USA” was playing on the French radio.
We got to the place we were staying for the first eight nights, the New Orient Hotel. It was absolutely adorable, complete with a bottle of champagne waiting for us courtesy of Shane’s aunt. Needless to say, we didn’t leave the hotel until it was time for dinner. ;-)
That first night, we wandered the streets surrounding our hotel and ended up at a little Italian place where we each got pizza. Pizza! I can’t get a decent slice in Texas, but I can get an amazing personal size pizza thousands of miles away. Go figure.
The second day was Eiffel Tower Day. Also the day we snapped my favorite picture of the entire trip. (Ahem, see picture from last post or my current profile picture on facebook). We didn’t plan on seeing the Eiffel Tower that day, we just kind of started walking and eventually saw its peak and continued to follow it until we were at the base. Pretty fantastic.
Over the next few days, we hit up the tourist sights by day, and experienced Paris bars and clubs by night. In random order (because the details of France are blending into one giant cluster of AWESOME) we made it to the Catacombs, the Louvre, Notre Dame, the Arc de Triumph, the Invalidades, Sacre-Coeur Conciergerie, Pigalle (Paris’s red light district) Jardin de Luxembourg, and so much more.
At the Louvre
We usually made it out to start our day by 11am or noon, grabbed some poulet (chicken!) baguette sandwiches, and went exploring. We’d come back around 5-6pm and drink wine and eat cheese before finding a place to eat dinner.
At night, we went to a whole assortment of places. Among the notable were Harry’s New York Bar, a neat cocktail bar that sported banners of American schools on its walls. Unfortunately, I did not see a Rutgers one though. Anyway, at that place, we each had an absinthe cocktail and some other things I can’t recall. I don’t fully remember how that night ended. Must have been a good one.
One night we took a boat ride down the Seine River which provided an immaculate view of all of the city’s sights, most of which are illuminated at night. The Eiffel Tower sparkles on the hour every hour at night. It was absolutely beautiful. See what I mean?
Oh la la!
On the boat
Our night in Pigalle was amusing. Another not so clear evening, but nonetheless a fun one. Our night ended at some club where I remember hearing “Be My Lover” by the Spice Girls. Shane loved it and couldn’t stop singing to me.
Just kidding.
It was me singing.
That first week in Paris, I probably gained five pounds, not that I care. Between pizza, crepes, cheese, bread, poulet sandwiches, Indian, sushi, wine, crepes, quiche, chocolate, pastries, timtams, and whatever other random crap we decided we needed to consume, it was entirely worth every excessive calorie.
After eight nights in Paris, we hopped onto a train on the 14th and made our way to the French Riviera. The 5.5 hour ride was beautiful, going through the countryside, French alps, and eventually to the Riviera. We spent the time sharing the headphones to my mp3 player, talking, and napping.
Nice was nice, as I knew it would be. The second place we stayed, Hotel Gounod, was just four short blocks from the Mediterranean. We had just one good beach day, but that was good enough for us Jersey bred kids who hadn’t seen the ocean in more than a year. The beach in Nice (capital of the French Riviera) is made up of rocks rather than sand, which made for a fun walking experience into the water (not really). The people there were quite the sight. Men in speedos and women having the option to go topless made for the best people watching all trip. And hey, I can’t say I didn’t try out the French way of laying on the beach ;-) (Sorry Mom and Dad, I’ve got no shame!)
In Nice
We discovered a cool little hookah bar in Nice which had amazing mojitos. Mixed with mint hookah, it was a tasty time. On our third day in the Riviera, we took a train to Monaco, which was only a 20 minute ride away. It was absolutely picturesque, from the teal water to the floral landscaping virtually everywhere. Ferrari, Merecedes and Bentley logos lined the streets, while Shane and I appeared to be some of the youngest visitors to the place. The rich vibe had me worried that grabbing food would cost a fortune, but we found a little café by the harbor that we stayed at for the afternoon. A few mojitos later, we were a little tipsy and on our way back to Nice for another couple of nights. Ah, drinking mojitos in Monaco. Where’s the rewind button in life?
In Monaco, with the Monte Carlo Casino in the background
A night out in Nice
On Saturday the 18th, we were on a train again back to Paris. Shane fell asleep on my shoulder for about 20 minutes, but it was long enough for me to start thinking about how I’d have to say goodbye soon. I cried a little, but I blame it on Regina Spektor getting the best of me.
Our third hotel was by far my favorite. Located smack in the center of Paris a block from the Seine, Hotel Brittanique was adorably romantic. It was the perfect place to spend our last couple night together until Shane’s return. That night was our first actual serious miscommunication with the language barrier thing. Until our second to last night, the fact that neither of us spoke a lick of French didn’t seem to be a problem. Everyone we encountered spoke at least some English, save our waiter on this particular night at a French cafe. He knew enough English to say “No English” when we tried talking, so we went with pointing to things on the menu. Shane pointed at what he thought was some egg appetizer, but when a platter of assorted meats came out, it was clear this guy didn’t get it right. I think that night we experienced duck and liver. We’re still not sure, and I don’t think we ever want to know.
Our last day together, we just walked around a lot, buying an assortment of things and enjoying one another's company. I hardly slept that night, and immediately felt sick upon waking on the 20th. I held myself together until after we ate our final poulet sandwiches together at the airport. We started saying our goodbyes and giving each other pep talks and then I lost it. How could I get on a plane headed to Killeen having just spent two amazing weeks with Shane in France? It was hard. Not as hard as the first time back in January, but hard. Our final goodbye took place at the start of the security line. Shane stayed for most of the time I was stuck in the hour long line, standing about 20 meters or so behind me. We kept staring at each other, signing “I love you” as I continued to cry. And no, for anyone wondering, Shane did not cry. I have never seen him cry in fact. I’m hoping he does when he comes home for real though :-)
When Shane waved his final goodbye to me, I cried harder. I was slightly embarrassed that I was surrounded by people but my ultimate thought on the matter was “fuck these people.” I got onto the plane and fell asleep soon after takeoff. I awoke to my own snoring- you know, the kind where you let out a big, obnoxious “SNORT!” – throwing myself into consciousness again. I started laughing and turned to my side, looking for a Shane who would surely be on the verge of shitting himself with laughter. But no. I snap back to reality, and remember I am on a plane, moving further away from Shane by the second. (I neglected to mention that yes, I left Paris before Shane. He left a couple of days after. He spent the rest of his time shaving his crazy beard that formed in 2 weeks and catching up on sleep) Anyways, when the blunt reality hit me, my eyes began to well with tears just as the drink guy is standing to my side asking what I wanted. I somehow manage to hold back the growing lump in my throat and muster enough strength to say "diet coke, please.” I wanted off that plane so bad. I wanted it to turn around and fly me straight back into Shane’s arms. I was hurting bad. And I was only an hour into my flight at that point.
I survived the next nine hours, and eventually ended up back in Killeen that night, with Shane still in Paris. I was a mess, but a strong mess. It was comforting to know that it was the last time I'd have to say goodbye.
Soon after my return from my alternate reality which now already feels like a dream, I held onto the fact that there is only one more third of deployment to go. The final third. I think it’s something like 114 days until it was a year he left. That’s not awful, considering I started my countdown to France around this number of days.
So yes, France was amazing. My words and even my pictures don’t do it justice, but the memories will keep both me and him going. It was clear our love for each other has only grown and will continue to do so. France was totally worth the wait, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that I will be saying the same thing 3.5 months from now when he returns home for good. Until then, I've got pictures such as this one to stare at!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Pics are up!
My apologies for being a crazy lady since I've been back. I've been playing catch up in all aspects of life, namely retraining my brain on how to cope with Shane going back to Afghanistan for another four months. Tonight I had time to either a.) Write the post I am longing to write or b.) Deal with the annoying facebook picture app and getting some of our France memories out there. I opted for the pictures tonight, because I'm sure the majority of you would prefer that. Plus, the pictures do a pretty good job of tell the story of our trip anyway.
The written summary is on its way, I swear. It is going to happen next week, because tomorrow I am going to be on a plane again, this time on my way to Denver for the first round of West playoffs for rugby. I am not finished unpacking France, and here I am going away again. I planned it this way though. I knew coming back to Killeen would suck and I'd need to get the hell out soon after my return. So hey, a weekend in Denver to tackle people? I'll take it!
Check out the pictures on facebook! They are a bit out of order, as it was hard to organize a total of 722 pictures spread between two memory cards, but I put up around 200 of the best ones! Enjoy, and I will be back in a few days...with a summary of both France and my rugby weekend!
I'd also like to say that Shane and I are an awesome pair, and I couldn't be happier with what I've got. This picture (my favorite!) speaks for itself-
The written summary is on its way, I swear. It is going to happen next week, because tomorrow I am going to be on a plane again, this time on my way to Denver for the first round of West playoffs for rugby. I am not finished unpacking France, and here I am going away again. I planned it this way though. I knew coming back to Killeen would suck and I'd need to get the hell out soon after my return. So hey, a weekend in Denver to tackle people? I'll take it!
Check out the pictures on facebook! They are a bit out of order, as it was hard to organize a total of 722 pictures spread between two memory cards, but I put up around 200 of the best ones! Enjoy, and I will be back in a few days...with a summary of both France and my rugby weekend!
I'd also like to say that Shane and I are an awesome pair, and I couldn't be happier with what I've got. This picture (my favorite!) speaks for itself-
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
I'm Back, sadly...
I had every intention of making my first post back be this giant summary of how amazing my 2 weeks with Shane was. But right now, at a little before 5 am my first day back (got in about 10 hours ago), I can't sleep and I am a mess. I imagine this is what coming down from some crazy drugs feels like. Waking up to an empty bed and the reminder that my little Parisian fairy tale is over feels almost as bad as the day he left. I do plan on a long, lovey and mushy few posts about our trip, but right now, I haven't got the energy. It won't be too long a wait though. I just need to shake this whole withdrawal thing...or at least wait for this stupid lump in my throat to disappear.
But yes, I will say that France was absolutely incredible. As expected, it already feels surreal. A little over 24 hours ago, I was in a hotel room with Shane's arms wrapped around me, admiring the view of the Eiffel Tower from our window. Now, I am alone and back in my little Texas room with only pictures of Shane to look at, wearing his favorite sweatshirt to feel close to him. Get the picture? I'm a bit of a wreck. Speaking of pictures, we have about 800 from our trip. Here's one random one to make this post somewhat exciting. I promise stories, descriptions, and many more pictures soon!
But yes, I will say that France was absolutely incredible. As expected, it already feels surreal. A little over 24 hours ago, I was in a hotel room with Shane's arms wrapped around me, admiring the view of the Eiffel Tower from our window. Now, I am alone and back in my little Texas room with only pictures of Shane to look at, wearing his favorite sweatshirt to feel close to him. Get the picture? I'm a bit of a wreck. Speaking of pictures, we have about 800 from our trip. Here's one random one to make this post somewhat exciting. I promise stories, descriptions, and many more pictures soon!
Sunday, September 5, 2010
"See you in Paris"
"See you in Paris" are the last words I just heard from Shane. He just got his itinerary which, let me just say, is all too perfect. He arrives in Paris at 7:25 am. I get there 9:35 am. Flying from completely different parts of the world and getting there within two hours of each other? Fucking awesome.
And okay I'll admit it. In the half hour or so since Shane called, I've been a little shaky. I also have no appetite, which NEVER happens. And, my heart feels like it might beat out of my chest. I've got another 18 hours of this to gradually build more and more to the point of seeing Shane again.
Will I cry? Probably. I hope I'm at least able to speak and not be too ridiculous. I'll have a lovely 10 hour flight to replay the scene over in my head repeatedly (the same scene that has already had 7 months of playtime in my head), but I really have no clue how it's going to go until I'm in the moment. I'll put my bet on crying though. And blushing. A lot.
I think I'm all ready to go. My bags are packed, I have my "seeing Shane again" outfit picked out(a cute black/white dress of course), and I've never been more mentally prepared as I am now. I'm leaving here in a couple of hours for the airport. I can't wait to get on that damn plane.
Paris, here I come!
PS: Just a note for those of you reading along...Thank you for all of the support. I will be back in two weeks to pick up from here and fill you in on how everything goes, complete with pictures! Cheers!
And okay I'll admit it. In the half hour or so since Shane called, I've been a little shaky. I also have no appetite, which NEVER happens. And, my heart feels like it might beat out of my chest. I've got another 18 hours of this to gradually build more and more to the point of seeing Shane again.
Will I cry? Probably. I hope I'm at least able to speak and not be too ridiculous. I'll have a lovely 10 hour flight to replay the scene over in my head repeatedly (the same scene that has already had 7 months of playtime in my head), but I really have no clue how it's going to go until I'm in the moment. I'll put my bet on crying though. And blushing. A lot.
I think I'm all ready to go. My bags are packed, I have my "seeing Shane again" outfit picked out(a cute black/white dress of course), and I've never been more mentally prepared as I am now. I'm leaving here in a couple of hours for the airport. I can't wait to get on that damn plane.
Paris, here I come!
PS: Just a note for those of you reading along...Thank you for all of the support. I will be back in two weeks to pick up from here and fill you in on how everything goes, complete with pictures! Cheers!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
So Much To Do, So Little Time!
I only managed to sleep five hours last night. I woke up to the sound of a text message from Shane about an hour ago, informing me that he was about to board his plane for Kuwait! Hooray! He is out of Afghanistan!
I am now up using the next 24 hours I've got to finish getting everything together. I have to put the finishing touches on my packing, run a bunch of errands, run a couple miles, load up my mp3 player and get my nails done! (Which by the way- I have not had BOTH a manicure and pedicure since senior prom...I think it's time) I think I'll go with a French?
Now everything gets a little crazy. How long will Shane be in Kuwait? Will he fly straight to Paris? Go to Germany first? By how many hours will he beat me there? What are the odds that I get there first? Everything is up in the air, quite literally. Shane will call me when he knows his itinerary. I think that'll be the the part that I really freak out. "Hey babe, I'll be in Paris at such and such time, see you there." Dah!
Okay! Off to get things done! Expect a post tomorrow before I fly!
(T-minus 27 hours)
I am now up using the next 24 hours I've got to finish getting everything together. I have to put the finishing touches on my packing, run a bunch of errands, run a couple miles, load up my mp3 player and get my nails done! (Which by the way- I have not had BOTH a manicure and pedicure since senior prom...I think it's time) I think I'll go with a French?
Now everything gets a little crazy. How long will Shane be in Kuwait? Will he fly straight to Paris? Go to Germany first? By how many hours will he beat me there? What are the odds that I get there first? Everything is up in the air, quite literally. Shane will call me when he knows his itinerary. I think that'll be the the part that I really freak out. "Hey babe, I'll be in Paris at such and such time, see you there." Dah!
Okay! Off to get things done! Expect a post tomorrow before I fly!
(T-minus 27 hours)
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Only a Few Days to Go
The wait is almost over. On Sunday, I finally get to start my journey to see Shane.
His has already begun. Shane left his base yesterday for KAF and is going through whatever annoying process the Army has for R&R.
Everyone keeps asking if I’m excited.
Well, duh!
Nerves are starting to creep in like crazy. It has been since January 20th that I saw Shane. And you know, it really doesn’t feel like it’s been that long most of the time. With technology being what it is and hearing from Shane many times a week, he often doesn’t feel 8,000 miles away. If we’re not talking, I’m thinking about him, talking about him, or dreaming about him.
But hell, tonight it feels like it’s been forever.
Tonight it hit me how long it’s truly been since. I spoke to my friend Tristan who moved out of town in June. She and I became close friends for the five months before she moved. Shane never even knew her.
Then I spoke to my bud Chris who was in town in March for SXSW, and it felt like forever since I saw him. To think that I haven’t seen Shane for two whole months before that…well that’s just crazy.
Right now, I can’t even say I’m excited. I am missing the shit out of him, and these next couple days are going to be torture. I think the true “excitement” thing will happen once I get to Dallas and am waiting to board my plane. For tonight, I'm fluctuating between nerves and disbelief that I really get to see him soon.
Oy vey. So much to do still. Packing has been a slow work in progress. I’ll finish Saturday.
This isn’t the last of my posts before I depart. I’ll probably post a spastic OMG freaking out one before I leave for the airport.
Ahhhhhhh three days! Check that, almost two. Thank goodness, because I really can't stand this anymore.
His has already begun. Shane left his base yesterday for KAF and is going through whatever annoying process the Army has for R&R.
Everyone keeps asking if I’m excited.
Well, duh!
Nerves are starting to creep in like crazy. It has been since January 20th that I saw Shane. And you know, it really doesn’t feel like it’s been that long most of the time. With technology being what it is and hearing from Shane many times a week, he often doesn’t feel 8,000 miles away. If we’re not talking, I’m thinking about him, talking about him, or dreaming about him.
But hell, tonight it feels like it’s been forever.
Tonight it hit me how long it’s truly been since. I spoke to my friend Tristan who moved out of town in June. She and I became close friends for the five months before she moved. Shane never even knew her.
Then I spoke to my bud Chris who was in town in March for SXSW, and it felt like forever since I saw him. To think that I haven’t seen Shane for two whole months before that…well that’s just crazy.
Right now, I can’t even say I’m excited. I am missing the shit out of him, and these next couple days are going to be torture. I think the true “excitement” thing will happen once I get to Dallas and am waiting to board my plane. For tonight, I'm fluctuating between nerves and disbelief that I really get to see him soon.
Oy vey. So much to do still. Packing has been a slow work in progress. I’ll finish Saturday.
This isn’t the last of my posts before I depart. I’ll probably post a spastic OMG freaking out one before I leave for the airport.
Ahhhhhhh three days! Check that, almost two. Thank goodness, because I really can't stand this anymore.
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