November Blue

I'm not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with The Avett Brothers sometime this year. Now, to all my Jersey friends, this is not Texas getting the best of me and turning me into a country girl- I argue that these guys aren't even country, but more on the folk/bluegrass scale. Shane makes fun of me for loving this song (His argument: "Mel, they're singing in the country. It's a country song."), but whatever, it has made November fly by for me. I absolutely love it. And in celebration of this being the last day of November, I present you with "November Blue."

I am also absolutely ready for December...only six hours away, woohoo!

Next stop...the month Shane comes home! DAHHHH!

Happy Anniversary...To Me!

This time a year ago, Shane and I became Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner. It was a gorgeous day in Austin, and we looked pretty gorgeous ourselves.


...Am I right?

Well, with Shane obviously being in a warzone for our first wedding anniversary, it hasn't been the best of days, but it is still reason to be happy and celebrate. Being apart for most of our first year as husband and wife has been difficult, but we've only grown stronger through it all. And hey, if we could make this marriage thing work from 8,000 miles apart, I think it's safe to say that we are set for life.

I personally acknowledged my first year as Mrs. Gardiner by adding onto my flower tattoo with a rose and forget-me-nots, based on ones I had taken pictures of in Monaco on R&R. The piece took four hours which at some points made me want to take my own life, but alas, it is complete! It was tough to get a good picture because it wraps around, but I did the best I could. It has a lot of healing to do, but should blend well with my lily when it is done peeling.


And, even cuter to add to my first year as Mrs. Gardiner was waking up to the UPS man at 9:15 am yesterday with a delivery of 3 dozen red roses from Shane. It was a day of flowers for this Gardiner!


So, here's to our first year down, and a lifetime to go!

Things to be Thankful For

This Thanksgiving has obviously been a bittersweet one, with the double whammy of being away from home (for the 3rd year in a row) and with Shane being at war. Lucky for me, I have made amazing friends in Texas and was in good company today.

I'll admit, I cried myself to sleep last night and woke up this morning only to continue my pity party. I was hit with the biggest wave of homesickness I've had in a very long time and just couldn't help but cry. I talked to Shane in the midst of my sobbing and the tears stopped. When we hung up, I dragged my ass out of bed and went running. I immediately felt better.

I thought about the things I do have to be thankful for, and the list goes on and on. Above and beyond all things is the fact that Shane is okay. More than ten months into war, and Shane has nothing but strength and optimism to show for it. I am thankful/grateful/blessed that my husband is okay.

I am thankful for the most supportive family and friends in the world. My family, Shane's family, my friends, his friends and our friends have been incredible and there for me from the start of deployment.

I am thankful for the friends I have made in Texas. I credit four individuals in particular for helping more than they will ever know or understand in getting through this year.

I am thankful for music and its job in continuing to maintain my sanity. There is a song for every day good or bad, and it is always there when people are not. I have always found comfort in music, and this year I have relied on it more heavily than ever before.

I'm thankful for the obvious things like my health and the roof over my head.

I am thankful for having an incredible husband who has helped lessen the burden of deployment by being as sweet and supportive as he can be from 8,000 miles away.

But like I said, I am most thankful for whatever higher power in the world has been keeping Shane safe and ensuring his return home.

50 days and counting, by the way.

Hello, Adulthood!

There are a few things that I would consider milestones in the whole entering into adulthood thing. Marriage is one of them. Paying all of my own bills is another. My next big step will be happening in just a few days...buying big girl furniture!

My days of dorm room decor are officially over, and I couldn't be happier. I am so excited about my project of furnishing our new apartment, it's a little ridiculous. I made a list of all the things we need (ahem, I want) and made a whole budget and everything. It's a bummer Shane isn't here to pick out things with me, but I much rather have a place all set up for him to come home to than not. Needless to say, he trusts my taste and has left all of the decisions to me. And why shouldn't he? I'm a classy lady.

The big move will begin in two weeks, so I decided it was about time I started to actually look for things. In my first hour of searching (first online and then booked it to the store to see the set in real life), I am pretty sure I have a 5-piece living room picked out! Here is a picture of the couch. I am open to opinions!


The sweet part is the price. I managed to find a 5-piece set for far less than I was even budgeting. Hooray! (In my head that means more money to put toward clothes...) I will hopefully put in my order in a few days. Just need Shane to look and give him a chance to object :-P

Now I just have some bedroom furniture, bar stools, and other random crap to worry about, but I've got time.

I can't decide if it's allergies or an actual cold that's been getting the best of me, but sleep seems like the best option right now. Ready to get through another week- so happy it will be a short one thanks to Turkey Day!

Keeping Busy!

I know, I know- we're almost there. But it doesn't make the days easier. 2 months is close, but still far enough to make it suck. I have been a very optimistic Melanie though!

I have lots to keep me busy during the final countdown! Like, every weekend from here on out is booked I think. This weekend I will start my search for furniture, as well as finish up my final carepack of the year for Shane. Then it's Thanksgiving weekend and my tattoo, a weekend of packing before I begin moving on the 6th, and then moving, moving, moving and my birthday weekend! Then hopefully/probably coming home for a few days around Christmas, back to Texas, another couple weeks of perfecting the new Gardiner abode, and then BOOM! Deployment ends.

So, I went to a Social Distortion show last night. A.M.A.Z.I.N.I.G. Mr. Ness and company had Stubb's rocking for a good hour and a half. Before they took the stage, I got to see Frank Turner, an English singer-songwriter I have been listening to for awhile. My friend Cathy and I were more excited for Frank than Social D, since he has become a pretty big rockstar in our worlds these past few months. Which is probably why meeting him last night at his merch booth was as exciting as it was awkward. Ah, good times. Another moment to add to my collection of adventures in being a teenybopper.

I talked to Shane a decent amount this week. He is being a little optimistic champ, as usual. I give him more and more credit every time we talk because he continues to be the same sweetheart he was when he left. War ain't got nothing on my husband! On a serious note though, 10 months into deployment, signs of PTSD are apparent in a number of soldiers over there with him. I don't know what Shane is made out of, but whatever it is, it's truly incredible. He is the most amazing man I know.

Before I continue my nerdy ramble, time to start the weekend! Hope everyone has a good one!

9 weeks...

The past week has honestly been a blur. One more week closer to this shitter of a year being done with though. And we are down to…9 weeks! The single digit countdown of weeks is here!

So on Monday I attended an FRG meeting about redeployment. I thought maybe, just maybe, it would be semi-informative and I’d learn something.

(Note: FRG = Family Readiness Group. Basically it’s the group that runs meetings for spouses to let us know info regarding our soldiers.)

I was warned about FRGs awhile back, hearing that it’s a lot of bullshit, becomes very political and many of the wives tend to wear their husbands’ rank. I hadn’t gone to a meeting since May, but figured this one might be worth it. Nope. Nothing new. Shane will be home sometime late January. Well, no shit. For fear of the wrong people potentially reading this I can’t say all I would like, but I will say the following-

As time goes on, I have less and less patience for “Army wives.” I think I have a whole post on its way regarding that topic though. “Army Wives: the Fort Hood Edition.” Coming to a blog near you soon.

Okay what else. My week was a bit of a bummer for many reasons. But, being I’m married to the cutest man alive, I received a bouquet of sunflowers yesterday to “brighten” my day. What a guy, I know. :-)

I went to Austin last night for a much needed evening out. Literally all of my good Texas friends were in Austin, so it was a good time all around, minus the part where two friends and I were almost assaulted by a couple of crazies while trying to get a cab. Good times!

I will be moving in 3 weeks to my new apartment. I am getting excited! Oh, and I will be adding onto my flower tattoo in 2 weeks, on the day before my one year anniversary! Soon after that it will be December and I’ll be able to say “Shane will be home next month!” Ah can’t wait.

I’m pretty spastic (clearly) and in need of sleep right about now. Until next time…

It Hurts Tonight

Eh, another lonely weekend down. I ran a little, I drank a little, I slept A LOT. I’m bumming a bit tonight though. I am overwhelmed with missing my baby. I thought it'd be a good idea to open up my Mel & Shane box, the goofy pink and black zebra patterned box of nerdy treasures I keep under my bed. I go through it when I'm missing Shane more than usual. Like, the kind of missing that makes it hard to breathe normally. I read our wedding vows, I read his first couple of letters to me from Afghanistan, but it was too much to handle. I haven't cried since my first few days back from Paris and I'm not ready to break down again just yet. After a couple tears fell, I decided to put it away.

I don’t think I’ve spoken today. Seriously. It’s always weird when these days happen. Like being so alone that if I do speak, it’s to myself. Oh wait, my mom called me but I barely remember the conversation. Little did she know that by calling at 1:30pm, she was waking me up.

I ran that 5K yesterday in memory of the shooting last year. Not much to say. I ran pretty well I think though. The more I think about November 5^th, the more I want to stop my train of thought. That day was upsetting as all hell. All I can say is I feel grateful and blessed that Shane left that building when he did. Oy.

So, 68 days and counting. I know the end is near, but it doesn’t make things easier. I still worry, I still freak out, I still get more upset than I could ever begin to explain. I think tonight calls for a Jack and coke minus the coke. Sometimes it’s easier to sleep this way. Don’t worry about me, don’t judge me- I promise I am doing okay overall. Tonight I just need some help to ease my mind and that’s really all that will do the trick.

Time to knock out another week…bring it!

The Week in Review

After the Fallon wedding extravaganza, an awesome weekend in Manhattan, and seeing Mumford & Sons, this week flew by entirely way too fast. I mean, I guess that’s a good thing. We’re down to 10 weeks until Shane is on his way home to me!

So, from the rehearsal dinner at an awesome Greek restaurant to getting brunch with the newlyweds on Sunday before catching my flight, seeing Liz and Devin get hitched after nine years of dating was incredible. Yes, they started dating when it was still acceptable to like the Backstreet Boys. Liz and I would know; we saw them together many moons ago.

Liz and I have known each other since middle school, but became really close when we both wrote for Hightstown High School’s award-winning newspaper, The Ram Page. As co editors-in-chief our senior year, we were the coolest kids in school. Not just anyone could get a permanent hall pass and drive to Princeton to pick up the paper from the press and eat pancakes during school hours. Jealous? You should be. I should also note we both drove (and still drive) yellow cars. Definition of awesome, right there.

Anyway, Liz is the first of my friends to be a married lady. I made the corny joke that we went from being eds-in-chief to weds-in-chief. Yep, seriously. Here we are, all grown up:

And, they're so damn cute, Mr. and Mrs. Fallon get a picture too!

So, the rest of my weekend was awesome as well. After shaking off a hangover courtesy of the open bar at the wedding, I met up with my Mom’s family Saturday afternoon for lunch at a Malaysian restaurant. We spent the afternoon exploring Central Park and Brooklyn, and then I went out Saturday night with my cousin Mike and friend Rachel.

When leaving our last bar of the night, I kid you not, I walked passed the dude who plays Benjamin Linus in LOST. Yes, the city was filled with people in costumes, but this was the real-live Ben. I smiled, he smiled back, giving me the look of “I know you know who I am.” Exciting!

Sunday I was hesitant to get on my plane back to Texas. Thanks to a handful of good friends I have here, I ultimately decided it’d be dumb to miss my flight. It was just so nice being in New York, that the very thought of Killeen made me want to die a little. But only 10 more weeks to go on my own here isn’t so bad I guess.

Well, I could probably dedicate an entire post to last night’s Mumford & Sons show at Stubb’s, because it really was THAT amazing. But I'll just make this a long and random post. Here's a little background on my love for these guys. Two and a half years ago, I went to see Laura Marling at the Mercury Lounge to review the show for my internship at The Aquarian. This was at the time in my life where I started to love the indie folk/acoustic genre scene. British accents were a plus.

I was blown away by the band that opened for Marling- this little-known band called Mumford & Sons. They also served as Marling’s backing band. Until their first full-length dropped at the beginning of this year, I often went to the band’s MySpace page, just to listen to a couple of the songs I remembered from that night.

So when tickets went on sale for an Austin show, my friend Cathy was on it and got a pair of tickets asap. Mumford & Sons sold out every show on their current headlining tour of the States, and it’s no wonder why. This band is amazing. They have put out my favorite album of the entire year (Yes, I think it may even beat Gaslight’s American Slang but it’s up for debate) and it has helped keep me company more than any other album all deployment.

I rank last night’s show somewhere in my Top 10 shows ever- seriously. I found a video of "The Cave" from last night at Stubb's, which is one of Austin's renowned venues (Also where I saw Regina Spektor the night Shane proposed!). The quality isn’t that awesome, but you can get a sense of why it was one of those shows you continue to think about for days to come. Check it out below!

I’ll wrap up this crazy long post by noting that it is the anniversary of the Fort Hood shooting. Most of you reading this know it was Shane’s unit who was hit the hardest, and that a couple of his friends were victims of the tragedy. I had a whole post in mind to dedicate to the anniversary, but I can’t handle it right now. I’m running a 5K on Saturday in memory of those killed and wounded, and Fort Hood will have events going on all day long. Maybe I’ll find the right words to say sometime over the weekend, if at all.

Also, thanks for all of the support and to those of you who continue to follow this blog! :-)