Back From The Dead

Yes, I know. This is unacceptable. I wish I had a good excuse like I got an awesome new job or a new dog I’ve been training to account for why I took a month-long leave from the internet. In fact, I can’t even really tell you what I’ve done the last month, other than going home to Jersey, playing rugby, taking advantage of Netflix and spinning my way to a hot bikini body.

I have fallen captive to my own pity party, opting to watch episodes of Law & Order SVU on repeat rather than actively search for a job. The lack of actual good jobs around here (i.e. waitress, stripper, bartender) has got me in a rut, wondering why I currently have nothing to show for my Bachelor’s Degree. Yeah, okay, so you can blame it on the economy. I got lucky getting a legit job just a couple of months following graduation. Now that I no longer have it, I feel slightly useless. I’m aware it’s silly, but it’s true. I do not know how to do nothing. It drives me insane, and I have very little practice in the sort of funk I find myself in now. People tell me to relax and enjoy this break while it lasts, which I have not been able to do most days. I know a time will come when I’m back to the nine to five, longing for the days when I had no responsibilities other than cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping and making food. But right now, this blows.

Of course life could be worse. I could be dealing with deployment.

Having Shane to have and to hold every day from here on out makes life happy. It’s those hours before and after his lunch that I try to keep busy, which sometimes results in me thinking too much and making myself crazy.

I have started to get my head out of my ass and back on my shoulders where it belongs, though. I finally got my fingerprints done to start substitute teaching, and we’re in the process of adopting a dachshund which will keep me company.

Texas has started to dish out my unemployment benefits, so I’m at least getting paid for working out and watching tv. I also don’t have to feel bad buying concert tickets for a whole slew of good shows coming up (Lady Gaga, Mumford and Sons, Bad Religion, Yelle, Kid Sister, and more…) Going to shows has always made me happy, and with my favorite person in the world here to accompany me, I’ve got a lot to look forward to right now. South By Southwest (SXSW) the biggest music festival of the year in the country (seriously) is starting on Monday, meaning free shows and booze galore. This will be my third year attending, but first with Shane. I am totally pumped, and I know it will be a great time for my mind and heart. Maybe not so much for my liver, but that’s okay.

Shane will have some time off in the coming weeks, which will be good. (Time off, by the way, from his current days of classes on everything from STDs to safety in the home to child development. The Army deems these things important to know for soldiers who have recently returned from overseas). We plan on going to San Antonio for a weekend and maybe even going camping for a few days.

Rugby, my one actual commitment for right now, has been going really well. Shane finally got to see me play a couple of weekends ago, and I didn’t do too shabby. I got to show my husband just how to tackle bitches (that deserves an LOL, but seriously) and introduce him to the 30 new friends I made while he was gone. I am off to Norman, Oklahoma late tonight to play OU tomorrow afternoon. Apparently it’s only a six hour drive from Austin, so we’ll be back late Saturday/early Sunday. This will be my first couple days not with Shane since he’s been home, so I admit I am already feeling a dose of separation anxiety. I’ll try to channel that energy into aggression on the field.

All in all, life is good. I have my days that I feel discouraged in regards to the whole job thing, but I’ve got my health, my husband, a dog on the way, and a whole lot of other things going for me.

So, if I disappear for awhile again, you should be alarmed. It means I am retreating from the world again, and that’s never a good thing. Thanks to those of you who forced me to remember I have a blog, because I remember how much I like to write.

See you on here soon, I promise. For real this time.